Stop and Count to Three

If your trying to live by The Book, you will eventually find yourself (as I have) looking at a lot of commandments. For a while you can say, “Alright, I can do that one, and that one, and that one…” But eventually, you’ll reach a point when it seems impossible to do any of it. Then you find the part where Jesus says, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48), and you smack your head on your Bible in frustration.

Jesus knows we can’t be that, but I believe he said it so we can strive towards perfect, and we should. A lot of Christians tend to look at that attempt legalistically or “religiously”, but I don’t think that was the intention. I believe that reaching perfection has less to do with attending church, what your money is spent on, and what party you are registered as, and more to do with how well you love people and how well you fulfill your call to share the Gospel in your daily life. That is possible, it just takes some work.

I no longer see the Holy Spirit as a task-master standing beside us with a whip to snap us into shape, but rather, as that one best friend that some of us have and some of us have always wanted. The one who knows us better than anyone else, encourages us in all things, and isn’t afraid to tell us when we have it wrong.

The discipline I have struggled with, and have recently put more effort into, is remembering that that particular best friend is ALWAYS around. Not in a menacing ominous sort of way, but in a, “I’m so glad you’re hear, I can’t possibly handle this alone!” sort of way. I have to remember that he’s here to say, “I know this is tough, but you can handle tough and you can get through this”. Sometimes, “If you keep responding that way, you’re just going to cause more trouble. Drop the argument, apologize, and walk away.” Sometimes, “It’s not fair for you to get mad right now, ask if they meant what you thought they did before you get so offended.” Sometimes, “Don’t miss this opportunity to show what you have to offer.” And always, “Don’t be afraid, you’re not alone.”

My mother used to tell me when I was a kid not to get mad, but to stop and count to three. It never really worked, mostly because I used that time counting to also focus all the rage in my tiny being onto whomever or whatever was bothering me. But, at least now I understand the concept. First reactions are typically where we mess up the most. Human beings are naturally emotional, proud, and defensive creatures. I personally am horribly impulsive and have a hard time letting go of an argument. Our Best Friend is not these things. If during the time it takes to count to three, we look to him and ask to get his feedback, we have a chance at containing a fire instead of feeding it.

For anyone who feels they don’t know what God would say, or worse, is sure they do, The Bible is, once again, the most amazing resource, as it contains thousands of examples of God’s character and opinions and it shows how eager he is to be with his people helping them learn, grow, and do better.

It’s not possible for us to be perfect, but we have someone with us always who can help us do the best we can. Without him, we really have no chance at all.  

One of my favorite books, and one that is very short, in the public domain, and completely free so you have no excuse not to at least take a look at it, is The Practice of the Presence of God, by Brother Lawrence. It describes how knowing God is with us and our love for him leads us to live a different kind of life. One with more patients, more joy, self control, and more contentment than we are capable of reaching otherwise.

Jesus said “be perfect” not to discourage us with an impossible goal or because he truly expects that of us. It was to show us that we can’t possibly hope to function without him. He is the only hope we have in this life to live as well as we can. He’s also the supplier of the hope that one day, things will be perfect, regardless of anything we can or can’t be.