Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Mirrors Don't Always Tell the Truth

Does being a Christian change the way we women (and men) think when we look in the mirror? I’m not talking about the people we are or who we want to see looking back at us, I mean the real, vain, body-conscious thoughts that go through our minds when we wonder if the number on the scale has gone down yet or if our hair is doing that thing again. It is my experience that Christian or not, when someone is approached with the subject of how they look, everyone (with rare exception) has a opinion about themselves and that opinion is rarely positive.

I hypothesize that this problem of body-hating is fairly inclusive of all cultures over all time periods. If there is any group of people who should remain immune to the plague it should be us, but it’s not. That icky yeast of our culture and society and generations and generations of style and fashion have shaped us all into critics of God’s work. And that’s not okay. But what the heck can we do about it?

It is also my hypothesis that the ideal with which we compare ourselves is only influenced and not established by our culture. We alone choose what we want to look like, who we want to look like, and what perfection is to us. Without going too far into philosophy, I believe that the elusive perfection that we seek exists outside of our belief of what that perfection is. When I look at myself in the mirror, yes, there is a particular way that I would like to morph what I see before me to match what I believe is perfect. But, what is TRULY perfect is what God intended me to look like, which is basically how I look.

Some people have insecurities about natural features. Your arms are too short. Your eyes are lopsided. Your ears stick out. Your skin has freckles. Other people are concerned about things that are under their control. You ate too much and now you’re fat. You opted for a nose job that went wrong. You got a bad haircut. The people in the latter group have a much different solution to their problems than those in the former. One group has to deal with forgiving themselves and possibly trying to remedy what occurred unnaturally. The other group has to contend only with God and weather or not they think he made a mistake.

I believe God has intention for how all of us should look, and as difficult as the process is, he wants us to look like that. Why is that so hard? Why are half of the TV commercials for makeup, anti-aging, and weight loss products? Why do little girls starve themselves? Why do I dye my hair?

The Bible doesn’t have much to say about physical appearance and it is my opinion that its omission of the subject just expresses how unimportant the way we look is in the bigger picture. Peter mentions briefly that effort in appearance isn’t nearly as important as effort in character (1 Peter 3:3). I do believe though that because we have such an image-obsessed culture, submitting to God’s standard is important to keep us healthy spiritually and can also be a ministry to others. If we give into the hype, how can we tell others that they are fearfully and wonderfully made?

I feel I need to explain that I’m not saying any and all forms of modification are wrong or evil, I’m just saying that I think a lot of us have the wrong idea. A little makeup and styled hair can be necessary in the professional world. Reconstruction after accident or injury makes perfect sense to me. I strongly encourage basic hygiene and looking proper for the occasion. The only universal statement I can make on the subject is that we all need to pray about how we look, if we look the way we should and if there is something that we should do to change to fit HIS standard of perfect, not ours. Maybe he will tell you to put down the lipstick, to gain a little weight, to skip the next Botox treatment. Maybe he will show you what he intended you to look like so you can get there. Maybe he will say you just have to see yourself as beautiful the way that he does. Maybe you will see that your motives for wanting to look a certain way are not what they should be. Maybe you haven’t cared enough about the impression you make on others with your appearance. Maybe nothing needs to be said at all.

I confess to having it wrong most of the time. I whine about the way I look just like the rest of the world. I look in the mirror and sometimes don’t have anything to say other than “why?”. Well, I finally really truly asked God that question and really the only answer I got was, “Why don’t you blog about it?” and what I’m getting out of this is a reminder that God has a reason for doing things. I trust him with other things, so I should trust him with this too. If he had a reason then it must be a good one. I should feel joy to have been blessed with God’s decision for me that was intentionally made, just like I was. That is how I want to see myself, but I don’t. I want to. I aspire to. But right now, I can only walk away from the mirror.



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